Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why is my older sister so mean to me as if I was her enemy?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why do some young mothers trick a guy into believing that they're pregnant and it's their child when years later they find out that it's not even theirs should he still pay child support or not?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t cotton to rapists

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can read

I can count

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EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why are white men so obsessed with Asian women? I'm friends with people from all different backgrounds but I never see my other non-white male friends obsess over or talk about Asian women like I've seen the white ones do.

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

If you were a writer for HBO, how would you rewrite the final season of Game of Thrones?

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand how hurricane paths work

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

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